When I've said no (don't touch my hair) or look at them (A-D-U-L-T-S) like they have two heads when they ask some of the most amazingly asinine questions like "when I bathe does my brown skin tone lessen" or "Do Black people ever believe in working to get what they want in life," I can't take them seriously and I will ALWAYS assume that you want to be called out on it. I. can. not. take them seriously because to be offensive (unintentional or not) and then have the nerve to expect for me to be gracious about being offended is an ill perceived entitlement that exists only in fairy tales.
I am not interested in making white people feel comfortable (in their ignorance). I am not even the slightest bit interested in making Black people feel comfortable when it comes to discussing race/racism. Comfort breeds complacency, complacency breeds apathy and apathy ends in death-- emotional, mental and physical death.
I would rather that white people acknowledge the fact that their white privilege affords them the damaging opportunity to walk around
Acknowledge the mistake and then take the initiative to educate yourself. YouTube is full of videos with people that are willing to explain why what you said or did was wrong and inform you on certain cultural elements that you might be interested in all in the privacy of your own home. We are in the 21st century, it's time out for the passive aggressive behaviors that expect the offended to care about your feelings when you offend. The internet, books and engaging in the world around you is your friend in that cause. I. AM. NOT. Once you have helped yourself, only then can we have a conversation.
Non-white people in this society don't get to behave in this way and not have it be seen as a faulty/inferior/unrefined characteristic attributed to the entire race. Black people that walk around uninformed about the world that they live in because they may lack access due to socioeconomic issues are seen as inferior by society. But white people are excused as being unaware due to being sheltered and get a pass? No.
If your parents did not do for you what they should have done in making you aware of the world that you live in then it becomes the responsibility of the adult person to enlighten themselves. If you choose to stay only in your idealistic (read: white supremacist) bubble then do that but don't expect non-white people not to burst that bubble when you decide to step outside of it.
*Pic courtesy of Google