How Much Is Too Much to Give...When is Enough, Enough?

I didn't understand why I had been unable to shake the sadness I felt after hearing about Whitney Houston's death.  I have now realized that it was tied to a connection I felt because we both have daughters (we love without measure) that are our only children and also there was the despair I felt seeing that yet another Black woman's life is gone, seemingly after living a life that didn't make herself a priority. 

The title of this post asks a question that I see as a rally call to Black women. We are and have been the ones in society that are expected to give without reason until there is nothing left.  We are the ones that are expected to be available to everyone else but ourselves.  We are the ones that are expected and requested to accept less than what we desire and deserve for various reasons but none of them have anything to do with what is best for us. It is always about someone or something else.  We are the ones that have to save ourselves.

How much more?  How much are we willing to continue to give to anyone or anything that is not about our success and advancement in the pursuit of our best lives. The price requested/demanded is way too high and offers little to no chance of return on investment.  So why participate in any endeavor that does not have your best interest at heart.

We love to tell ourselves that we are doing what is best for the good of us all when we knowingly and willingly give the best of ourselves (expending energy, time and/or effort) to people or groups that have no intention or desire to encourage or support us in return.  Whether it is family, friends or community; making the decision to not make ourselves a priority is an effort riddled failure.

Failure to thrive (FTT) is terminology that is used in the medical world to describe those that have been denied the necessary requirements that would encourage emotional, mental and physical growth.  This term can be used to describe Black women collectively in the way that we are treated and regarded within the Black community and in society at large.  No one wants to admit that they have been malnourished by people that are supposed to care about you and that are supposed to want the best for you.  The malnourished don't usually realize the extent of the deprivation until it is too late.

Take a look at the life that you are currently leading.  Ask yourself if the life that you are living is the one that you want?  If not.  Change it.  Changing it does not mean that you abandon responsibilities and things that you are accountable to/for.  Change does mean that you should choose to make yourself a priority by taking the necessary steps to bring happiness and balance to the forefront and not allowing negative people or influences to play a role.

Life will be limited for those that choose to limit themselves.  Don't have anyone or anything stop you from making choices that align with what you desire for your life.  Help yourself by making yourself a priority.