Tuesday, May 11, 2010


I am not one or the other I am both. As a Black woman, all of my exquisiteness is as offended by racism as I am by sexism...then there is also the classism that rears its head based on the racism and the sexism. And Black women seem to be getting pummeled in society by all three! I can say an accelerant for those fires to me is being told not to take it personally. WTH? It is personal!!!

I DO NOT defend the indefensible. So seeing Black women and Black men contribute to the Black woman's destruction makes me passionate enough to ask... what exactly are we trying to accomplish? We assist the mainstream's full blast assault on the Black woman (conveniently after the first Black First Lady) by choosing to publicly and privately tear each other down. No other ethnic group does that!!!! At least not on such a pervasive level. So.... what is our goal because if we destroy the Black Woman...we destroy us all. I can't believe that that is the goal. All human beings have the desire for self preservation, right? Today's society has an overabundance of malice and depraved indifference and unfortunately we have given the okay by our actions to hold ourselves up as "free game" for those who would choose to take a swing. WAKE THE HELL UP!

I am NOT writing this for white America to gain a better understanding of the intricacies of the current relationship between the Black woman and the Black man. This post is strictly for OUR understanding, reflection and acknowledgment that something has to change before it is too late. I love Black people love...which is the reason my main page photo reflects it! That love has to be respectful because when I look in the mirror and I don't love who I am then no one else will. I treat myself the way I want to be treated so that in no way will I ever allow anyone to treat me less than.

Black man... I am your reflection and I will understand all of who you are in a way that no one else can...period. That is not to say that love for someone is bound by the color of ones skin but it is saying that in today's world too many of you have bought into the nonsense that a Black woman is not good enough. Black man... when I pursue my best self (in whatever that may be) that is not a negative for you or towards you; that just means that I'm able to give the best of who I am to you and I have the right to require the same from you. Black man... you WANT me to be intelligent, confident and strong because that means that our family will thrive because of those qualities. Black man... in order to love you in the way that you need, I need to be loved in the way that I need!

Black Woman... being a good woman to a man does not mean sitting back and politely eating shyt with a fork! Dignity and respect are a good thing. Black Woman... loving a man should not mean losing who you are in the process or loving yourself less because the RIGHT MAN does not need or expect you to be less so that he can be more. Black Woman... supporting the Black man does not mean settling for or defending inexcusable behaviors. (Stop that shyt...seriously) Black woman... it is not good to punish a good man for a bad one's behavior. Black woman... owning your sexuality does not mean catering to the male fantasy by putting all the wares on display for the world to see. Black Woman... pursuing your best self AND self-interest is a good thing because it means that you value yourself.

BLACK WOMAN... Despite what current society would have you to think YOU are beautiful and valid in your own right.


  1. Hello,

    I would call you by your name, but I don't know what that is? My name is CareyCarey. Today, you said you are a black woman in all her glory, and although I am a man, I felt you words.

    I stopped by because I noticed that someone had visited my blog via yours. So thank you for having me on your blogrol. Btw, how did that come about? I mean, I don't move around much. I have a very small blogroll, and I don't fish for readers. Well, I generally do not write social commentary, so my stuff is not for everyone.

    It was nice "meeting" you and thanks again, for giving me a space in your world.

    Btw, you are a good writer. You know how to work your words.

  2. Thanks for stopping by and appreciating what I had to say. It had been a while since I wrote anything.

    I don't do much surfing but I like to read various blogs from time to time and I found your blog via Field Negro and I actually enjoyed reading what you've had to keep it up.

    Pamela aka Black Butterfly

  3. You're welcome.

    Believe me, I surely understand why you've takan a break (and may stay on a break). I've been doing this for about a year, and I am yet to find a purpose or a direction. So many question? Am I writing to engage others in conversation? Do I do it for attention (wrote a post about that)? Is it my need to express myself in an open forum, while I hide behind an Internet name? Do I want a horde of comments like that of field negros blog. Do I write well enough to concisely convey my message? What is my message, and where is my lane? Should I placate my readers so they'll keep coming back. Should I talk about a lot of nothing, so everyone would feel fear to drop thier "nothings"?

    Questions Questions Questions

    CareyCarey aka Darnell